Blue Zone behavior moves a person to pace the one with whom they are experiencing conflict. Pacing is one of the most important skills a leader has and is essential in navigating conflict.
So what does it mean to pace someone?
Pacing involves getting into the other person’s world by:
- Seeing things from their perspective.
- Affirming that perspective, whether or not we actually agree.
- Demonstrating empathy through words and nonverbal cues.
Pacing is not about giving the impression of agreement. In fact, we have to be careful not to give the impression that we agree when we don’t – this is downright manipulative.
Being understood is one thing. Being agreed with is quite another.
But whether we agree or not, hearing and doing everything we can to understand are essential conflict skills.